Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2009 Carol Chanel
At the 2007 Grammy awards The Dixie Chicks song "I'm Not Ready to Make Nice" won the Grammy for best song.
The storm of controversy that spawned the song is known to many. The hottest selling female country band in music history, the Dixie Chicks, got knocked off a lot of radio stations and suffered significant financial losses when one of them expressed a political viewpoint during a London concert in 2003. Whether you agree with them or not, isn't what I want to focus on in this article.
As the Dixie Chicks worked their way out of the controversy, they wrote an award-winning, powerful song that can be a great guide for all of us.
"I'm not ready to make nice. I'm not ready to back down...I don't have time to go round and round and round...I've paid a price and I'll keep paying... I can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should."
That last line is the key to living your life from a place of freedom, peace and joy. If you try to live your life to please others, or to do what they think you should, you'll never be happy or fulfill your dreams.
People will find all sorts of ways to try to manipulate you into doing things their way. They will give you gifts, promotions, raises, love (well not really, but they say they will), housing, food, and validation. They will act pouty, whiney, controlling, angry or aloof to try to get you to do things their way. And all you have to do is give in, speak, act and do it their way. All you have to do is sell your soul!
Am I being dramatic? Not really. When you live your life by someone else's standards and wishes, you aren't living it according to what feels great for you. And you will never be happy under those circumstances. And it's your life!
As women, many of us were raised to be nice little girls. We were taught that being people pleasers had benefits. After all most of us had moms and dads who validated, rewarded and loved us when we were good.
And that might have been okay when we were small, since we couldn't survive without mom and dad, but now as women it's not good for us.
I'm not implying that you need to be nasty. Kind and firm are appropriate and a great guide for living your life, especially combined with humble and loving.
But if you think that you need people to like you more than you need to honor yourself, then you'll be stuck living your life the way others think you should.
The cost of being nice, of pleasing others, is giving up your dreams, desires, choices, freedom and your joy of life. It might keep you from asking for a raise, taking a dream vacation, living in a favorite city, driving a fun car, having children, or getting an education - just to mention a few things you might sacrifice by being nice and pleasing others.
Other than never making you happy, there's a bigger problem to the nice scenario.
People who want you to do things their way, who want you to make them happy, don't really care about you. They only care about their own feelings and needs. They make terrible partners, friends, co-workers or bosses.
They care about themselves, at your expense. And it's up to you to see the truth about them. They are in the relationship for what they can get out of it, not what they can put into it.
If you stay, you will wake up one day and realize how empty you are. You will realize that you don't know who you are, that you lost yourself.
So do yourself a favor, find a partner, friend or boss who also cares about you. Someone who doesn't manipulate you with gifts, praise, supposed love and other things to get their way.
Find a partner who doesn't get pouty, whiney, controlling, angry or aloof to manipulate you into doing things their way. Especially when it's something you really don't want to do, and know it's not good for you, or doesn't feel right for you.
As the Dixie Chicks learned, there is often a price to be paid for speaking your opinion, your truth. But the price of being nice is far greater than any price you might pay for being true to yourself. Selling your soul to get material or other perceived gains, isn't what your came here to do or be. You came here to live an authentic life. You came here to thrive. You can't thrive when you turn against yourself.
Choose to not back down. Choose not to make nice. Choose to be kind, firm, humble and loving. Choose to listen to your heart. Choose to trust that God Source Creation has great people lined up for you if you make room for them, then trust and stay positive.
Imagine the possibilities...
(c) Carol C. Chanel
About the Author:
Carol Chanel is a Certified Life Coach who works with people to create new, meaningful and FUN lives. You can learn more about how to create loving and healthy relationships, draw boundaries, not take things personally, be happy to be who you are, and make time for fun by going to her free ezine archive.
http://www.carolchanel.com/rockin_relationships.html
Read more of Carol Chanel's articles.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Clean Your Office and Get Back Six Weeks of Time!
Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2009 Rochelle Melander
The Wall Street Journal reported that people lose as much as six weeks a year just searching for information. Can you afford that kind of time loss? No one can. Yes, you can work in chaos—but you are going to lose time and focus. You will work more efficiently when your workspace is clutter free. Start by committing yourself to a clean desktop. You cannot think about big ideas if your desktop is full of action items. Here's how to make your office clutter free right now.
1. Move (or move out) Keepsakes. Keepsakes can be just as distracting as stacks of work—and they need to be dusted! Move half of your keepsakes out of your office. Cindy Arlinsky, founder of Organizing Matters suggests moving the remainder of your keepsakes off your desk and onto walls or shelves.
2. Move the Tools. So what else do you keep on your desk—an electronic pencil sharpener, paper clips, and a stapler? Gayle Goddard, The Clutter Fairy, says, "If you have a bunch of office tools on the desk that you use less than once a day, get them off the desk. Put them in a file cabinet or on a bookcase or in a closet." Keep only your most essential office tools on your desk.
3. Create Color-Coded Action Files. Give each one of your work projects a color-coded action file. Use your desk drawer for these action files. "That one drawer is prime real estate that can be reached while you are sitting in the desk chair. That drawer should be used for your current action files," says Gayle Goddard. "That way whatever you are working on currently is immediately accessible while you work, and can be easily put away at the end of each day to clear off your desk."
4. Create Project Shelves for writing and work projects that need more space than a file or two. Each book I am writing gets a shelf. That way, I can keep a project notebook, research materials, and research books visible and in one place. I've now added shelves for clients and other work projects. It keeps the information off my desk (and floor) but still in sight.
5. Hello Notepad. Is your computer hard to see because you've covered it with real and electronic sticky notes reminding you to call the doctor? STOP! Organizer Cindy Arlinsky says, "Jot down phone numbers, order confirmations, travel data, and other urgent information in ONE spot. You'll save time retrieving information and minimize clutter."
6. The Magic Twenty. Set aside 20 minutes at the end of each day to clean up your office. Deal with the emails in your inbox. Put away project files and tools. Toss extra papers. Return dirty dishes to the kitchen. Then shut down the computer, turn off the lights, and close the door.
A clean, well-organized office will make you more productive. Besides that, you'll have reclaimed the time you used to spend searching for information. With that extra time, you'll be able to take on more work or even take a vacation!
About the Author:
Right Now! Coach Rochelle Melander supports people in writing to transform their lives and businesses. If you're ready to establish credibility, make more money, and market your work by writing a book, blog, or Web site, get your free subscription to her Write Now! Tips Ezine at http://www.rightnowcoach.com
Read more Articles written by Rochelle Melander.
Copyright © 2009 Rochelle Melander
The Wall Street Journal reported that people lose as much as six weeks a year just searching for information. Can you afford that kind of time loss? No one can. Yes, you can work in chaos—but you are going to lose time and focus. You will work more efficiently when your workspace is clutter free. Start by committing yourself to a clean desktop. You cannot think about big ideas if your desktop is full of action items. Here's how to make your office clutter free right now.
1. Move (or move out) Keepsakes. Keepsakes can be just as distracting as stacks of work—and they need to be dusted! Move half of your keepsakes out of your office. Cindy Arlinsky, founder of Organizing Matters suggests moving the remainder of your keepsakes off your desk and onto walls or shelves.
2. Move the Tools. So what else do you keep on your desk—an electronic pencil sharpener, paper clips, and a stapler? Gayle Goddard, The Clutter Fairy, says, "If you have a bunch of office tools on the desk that you use less than once a day, get them off the desk. Put them in a file cabinet or on a bookcase or in a closet." Keep only your most essential office tools on your desk.
3. Create Color-Coded Action Files. Give each one of your work projects a color-coded action file. Use your desk drawer for these action files. "That one drawer is prime real estate that can be reached while you are sitting in the desk chair. That drawer should be used for your current action files," says Gayle Goddard. "That way whatever you are working on currently is immediately accessible while you work, and can be easily put away at the end of each day to clear off your desk."
4. Create Project Shelves for writing and work projects that need more space than a file or two. Each book I am writing gets a shelf. That way, I can keep a project notebook, research materials, and research books visible and in one place. I've now added shelves for clients and other work projects. It keeps the information off my desk (and floor) but still in sight.
5. Hello Notepad. Is your computer hard to see because you've covered it with real and electronic sticky notes reminding you to call the doctor? STOP! Organizer Cindy Arlinsky says, "Jot down phone numbers, order confirmations, travel data, and other urgent information in ONE spot. You'll save time retrieving information and minimize clutter."
6. The Magic Twenty. Set aside 20 minutes at the end of each day to clean up your office. Deal with the emails in your inbox. Put away project files and tools. Toss extra papers. Return dirty dishes to the kitchen. Then shut down the computer, turn off the lights, and close the door.
A clean, well-organized office will make you more productive. Besides that, you'll have reclaimed the time you used to spend searching for information. With that extra time, you'll be able to take on more work or even take a vacation!
About the Author:
Right Now! Coach Rochelle Melander supports people in writing to transform their lives and businesses. If you're ready to establish credibility, make more money, and market your work by writing a book, blog, or Web site, get your free subscription to her Write Now! Tips Ezine at http://www.rightnowcoach.com
Read more Articles written by Rochelle Melander.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Understanding Gambling Addiction
Article Presented by:
Copyright © 2009 Skyler Ace
There's nothing wrong with gambling, if you use it the right way - as means of having fun, as a hobby or a way of de stressing. The danger comes when the roles get reversed and gambling starts using you. When you start to gamble not to relax, but because you get tense when you are not gambling, you have a serious problem. With online gambling being so prevalent and easy to access, this is now becoming a serious problem.
Gambling addiction has a great deal of social stigma attached to it. While things like alcohol and drug addiction are met with a certain amount of sympathy, people tend to feel that a person dependent on these things is one who could not face life's pressures and took the easy way out. These people need sympathy and help to recover. Gambling addicts, on the other hand, are often treated a selfish, self centered people who do not care for their families and are throwing away their and their families futures by gambling away all their money.
Gambling addiction is understood by mental health professionals to be an emotional problem and has the same roots as any other form of addiction. Gambling addiction needs to be viewed in the same way as other extreme emotional states like acute anxiety and depression. To treat it merely as a case of a weak or immature personality is to misunderstand the problem and treat it the wrong way.
Like all addicts, the gambling addict will have moments of clarity when he will appreciate what the addiction is doing to his life and to his family. Again, like other addicts, he may make some weak efforts to cure himself and will, in 95% of the cases, fail. He then accepts his addiction as being incurable and inevitable and feels that he has no choice but to gamble. The descent into disaster only accelerates from here.
But gambling addiction is not just treatable, it is curable. There are no magic bullets or pills that can remove the problem overnight. It is a long haul and the cured gambling addict, like the reformed drinker or drug addict, will have to spend the rest of his life being careful about falling back into the trap. But this is a very small price to pay for escaping from the hole.
Gambling addicts rarely see the problems they have, and if they do, forget about it in their desire to gamble. There are fours easy checks to know if you have a gambling addiction. Be completely honest with yourself and ask yourself if you or someone you care about has these symptoms:
Do you feel the need to be secretive about your gambling? Do you hide it or lie about it?
Once you start, are you able to stop at a predetermined point - either at a fixed time or when you have lost a fixed amount of money? Or do you keep on gambling until you are exhausted and / or have no money left?
Do you gamble even when you can't afford it? Are you spending money meant for other purposes on gambling - money for school fees, utility bills and so on?
Are those who care worried about you? Even if they haven't said anything as yet, do you sense they are concerned about you?
Forget about having all of these symptoms, having even one of them is enough of a cause for concern. Even one symptom is a sign of if not full blown addiction, at least a sign of being well on the way to becoming an addict.
Cure and treatment is only possible if the person is both honest enough to see that he has a problem and also has a desire to be cured of it. It is not possible to treat someone who does not want to be treated.
Gambling addicts wanting to be cured must accept the fact that this is an emotional disorder and that they will not be able to deal with it themselves. It is normal to feel ashamed of having the problem and therefore reluctant to ask for help. But this is not something that can be self treated. This is a medical condition that needs to be treated by qualified professionals.
About the Author:
This article was written by gambling pro Skyler Ace. Warning: Do Not Gamble Another Dollar Online Until You Read This. Free Consumer Awareness Guide Reveals The Seven Deadly Mistakes All Gamblers Make: http://www.jobsource20-23.com/casclok.html Also feel free to visit our gambling blog for tons of winning tips: http://onlinegambling23.blogspot.com/
Read more Articles written by Skyler Ace.
Copyright © 2009 Skyler Ace
There's nothing wrong with gambling, if you use it the right way - as means of having fun, as a hobby or a way of de stressing. The danger comes when the roles get reversed and gambling starts using you. When you start to gamble not to relax, but because you get tense when you are not gambling, you have a serious problem. With online gambling being so prevalent and easy to access, this is now becoming a serious problem.
Gambling addiction has a great deal of social stigma attached to it. While things like alcohol and drug addiction are met with a certain amount of sympathy, people tend to feel that a person dependent on these things is one who could not face life's pressures and took the easy way out. These people need sympathy and help to recover. Gambling addicts, on the other hand, are often treated a selfish, self centered people who do not care for their families and are throwing away their and their families futures by gambling away all their money.
Gambling addiction is understood by mental health professionals to be an emotional problem and has the same roots as any other form of addiction. Gambling addiction needs to be viewed in the same way as other extreme emotional states like acute anxiety and depression. To treat it merely as a case of a weak or immature personality is to misunderstand the problem and treat it the wrong way.
Like all addicts, the gambling addict will have moments of clarity when he will appreciate what the addiction is doing to his life and to his family. Again, like other addicts, he may make some weak efforts to cure himself and will, in 95% of the cases, fail. He then accepts his addiction as being incurable and inevitable and feels that he has no choice but to gamble. The descent into disaster only accelerates from here.
But gambling addiction is not just treatable, it is curable. There are no magic bullets or pills that can remove the problem overnight. It is a long haul and the cured gambling addict, like the reformed drinker or drug addict, will have to spend the rest of his life being careful about falling back into the trap. But this is a very small price to pay for escaping from the hole.
Gambling addicts rarely see the problems they have, and if they do, forget about it in their desire to gamble. There are fours easy checks to know if you have a gambling addiction. Be completely honest with yourself and ask yourself if you or someone you care about has these symptoms:
Forget about having all of these symptoms, having even one of them is enough of a cause for concern. Even one symptom is a sign of if not full blown addiction, at least a sign of being well on the way to becoming an addict.
Cure and treatment is only possible if the person is both honest enough to see that he has a problem and also has a desire to be cured of it. It is not possible to treat someone who does not want to be treated.
Gambling addicts wanting to be cured must accept the fact that this is an emotional disorder and that they will not be able to deal with it themselves. It is normal to feel ashamed of having the problem and therefore reluctant to ask for help. But this is not something that can be self treated. This is a medical condition that needs to be treated by qualified professionals.
About the Author:
This article was written by gambling pro Skyler Ace. Warning: Do Not Gamble Another Dollar Online Until You Read This. Free Consumer Awareness Guide Reveals The Seven Deadly Mistakes All Gamblers Make: http://www.jobsource20-23.com/casclok.html Also feel free to visit our gambling blog for tons of winning tips: http://onlinegambling23.blogspot.com/
Read more Articles written by Skyler Ace.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
